*pics by my doula Carson Meyer*
Hello my loves,
It’s honestly hard to know where to start with my birth story. But I’d be remiss not to start with this, no matter how you bring life into this world you are bringing life into this world!! That is to be celebrated mama!!! Whether that’s medicated, unmedicated, c-section, water birth etc. No matter how, it’s a miracle and it is perfect.
Here’s how my birth went down. As a reminder, my birth plan was an unmedicated birth. I planned on laboring at home until my contractions were 3-1-1 and I was in the final stretch of labor. 3-1-1 is three minutes apart, lasting a full minute for one hour. I was able to stick to some of my plan.
I woke up on October 24th at 1:00am with my first contractions. They were mild but enough to wake me up and make me think, “Huh…this may be it!” I went back to sleep.
3:00am strikes. Contractions are growing in strength which makes it hard to go back to sleep. I wake Joe and tell him, “I think this is it, babe. I think I’m in labor.”
To which he replied, “OH MY GOD. SHOULD WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL?!” 😂
Me: “Uh, no babe. This is definitely early labor. We got a while before it’s hospital time.”
At this point, I couldn’t go back to sleep. The contractions were strong enough where I’m finding it hard to sleep. Which is ironic considering what happens later. Keep reading.
In those wee morning hours I found myself just doing things to keep my mind busy that I also found relaxing/didn’t use much energy. So what did I do? Ate a pb&j, did my hair and makeup which was completely pointless, notified my doula that I was in early labor, watched some tv and scrolled instagram. Let’s fast forward a bit..
By 10:00am, my contractions were measuring very close to 3-1-1. Joe was using the app called “Contractions” that times them for you. (If you download this app and use it, don’t be too alarmed when it says “go to the hospital.” It was telling us that at 7am.) Given they were so near the 3-1-1 mark at 10:00am, we decided that it would be good to head to the hospital. We left for the hospital at 10:30am. My contractions felt strong and I was starting to have some moans throughout them which we heard was also a sign that we could be close.
We get to the hospital and get checked in. I go to triage and am there for an hour and half, I get examined and am only 4 cm dilated… I couldn’t believe this as I thought I was much further along. HA! Only 4…buckle up.
We finally get moved to the delivery room and this is where I found my zen state. I really wanted a room with a bathtub as I had heard it was good for labor pain. The only one available didn’t have a window. I said I didn’t care and went with it. Boy am I glad I did that. My doula brought Christmas lights and flameless candles and we had the lights dimmed in the room. It really felt like my own little sanctuary and so cozy with the lighting. I would actually request a room without a window now!
I’m not gonna walk you through each hour of my labor because there was 18 of them. Yes, 18 hours total. And I remained unmedicated the entire time. Oh and did I mention he crowned for an hour?? If there was ever a year where a Chanel was deserving under the tree, this year would be it. Just saying!
The only thing I can really say is that having an unmedicated birth is truly one of the most primal things I will probably ever experience. A true out of body experience that I will forever cherish the memory of. I had no idea what time it was, what day it was frankly or what anyone else was doing. I was purely focused on getting through each contraction. I did a lot of laboring in the shower/bathtub as well as on the toilet. Turns out water therapy is a fabulous tool for labor pains and as strange or funny as the toilet sounds, it’s a deep squat position so fairly “comfortable.” At one point, I was so beyond exhausted that my doula recommended I lay down on my side with the peanut ball between my knees. So I did that and I fell asleep. I fell asleep while having contractions at 7-8cm dilated. I would sleep between the contractions and almost have them half asleep, moaning and breathing like a mf to get through them. I’m not going to lie, the pain is something that nothing can prepare you for. But I do have some advice/tips to share if you’re interested in pursuing an unmedicated birth. My birth story will look different from yours as no two are the same. These are just some things you might find helpful so I wanted to share. 🙂
Tips/words of advice to my mamas out there that are planning an unmedicated birth.
- Mantras, mantras, mantras! Have words of encouragement that you say to yourself (I said them out loud as labor progressed) and share those mantras with your partner/whatever support person/people you have in the room to say to you when they see you having a contraction. I never once voiced “I can’t do this” or any version of that. I thought it a couple of times. But I truly believe not voicing that doubt made a difference. As soon as you say something out loud, it becomes real. So don’t do it! Only voice positive things. Here are a few of mine that I found very helpful: “I can do this.” “Breathe.” “Release.” “It’s only a minute. Contractions are only a minute.” (Telling yourself to breathe and release might sound like an unnecessary thing but it’s actually natural for your body to tense up and hold your breath when in pain. Which slows down labor if your muscles are tense and holding in. So reminding myself to do these things I found 100% necessary.)
- Create an ambiance! Like I said above, Christmas lights and flameless candles really helped to create a relaxing environment. Leave that to your partner/support person/people. You’ll be busy focusing on other things.
- Bring essential oils. I found peppermint and lavender very helpful! At one point my doula rubbed some lavender oil behind my ears and it was a dose of relaxation in the midst of an intense contraction. Peppermint oil + a little shoulder rub felt great too in between contractions. Your partner could also just rub some oils between their hands and place under your nose while you’re leaning over to breathe in!
- Know and believe from the bottom of your heart that you CAN do this because you can.
- Light a candle, close your eyes and meditate daily nearing your due date. (I started doing this around week 34.) Remind yourself of your strength and courage and *envision* your birth. Envision holding your baby for the first time. Envision the whole thing. I found this meditation beforehand to be vital to my mental strength during labor pains.
It’s a lot of mental prep!
The moment they placed him on my chest was the best moment of my life. Remember, as hard as the delivery is for you, it’s also very taxing on them. I felt like we were teammates and we had just completed our first goal together as mother and son. Truly special. Truly magical.
I hope every woman reading my birth story feels empowered going into their birth. I have to say it again, no matter how you bring a child into this world, it is a gift and it is perfect. Trust your gut and your strength for whichever route you choose.
All the love!
