One year has passed since Joe and I said our “I do’s.” It’s absolutely crazy to think that a full year has passed already…so much has happened in this one year and yet, it feels like it was just yesterday we took over Philly eating cheesesteaks and parading around Rittenhouse Square in black tie attire. I thought I’d share my 1st year thoughts with you. 🙂
I’ve learned a lot from being married. We challenge each other every day to look at things differently and to make bold decisions when the time calls for it. Relationships are tricky in general. Even trickier when you vow to be with someone forever. Joe and I have a very strong relationship in that, we’ve both realized the importance of listening, not just hearing. Listening is one of the best things you can do for a relationship. It’s natural for humans to react as soon as they hear something without really taking into account what the other person has just said and what that means to them and how it affects them. Not gonna lie, sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes all you wanna do is pull your hair out because they just don’t understand what you’re saying. But then, you have to take a second and really look at why they’re not understanding you. Or why they don’t agree with you.
We are also huge proponents of couples counseling. I know, there is an annoying stigma about therapy. Honestly, nothing aggravates me more than the looks some people give when they hear you’ve gone to therapy for your relationship. Like, “Sorry I want an outside perspective on this and sorry I want to understand my partners mind and how it operates!” Therapy is such a life saver and can seriously make you take a step back if you’re feeling defensive about something or if you guys can’t seem to agree on something. Being from the midwest, I grew up around the idea that if you can’t figure something out, you pray about it. Prayer is the answer for all. And while I can appreciate the hope and sincerity in people’s voices when they say that, I don’t believe it to be true. Prayer can be wonderful for certain things. I pray for things that I personally can’t control. Such as, the world becoming more open-minded and accepting of different ethnicities and religions. I alone can’t fix that. But, I can fix a problem in my marriage if my partner is willing to work on it. Therapy has helped Joe and I with a couple of issues and has made us stronger as a couple and individually. So, I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. Don’t listen or pay any mind to judgmental looks!
The other thing that people don’t like to talk about with marriage is that somedays, you’re just not in a good mood! Somedays, you’re irritable. Somedays, your partner is irritable. Somedays, you’re both irritable and you better not annoy each other! That’s how it works. You’ll go through phases where it all feels a little ‘off’ and irritable. Then one day, you wake up and you can’t believe you ever were annoyed with them. <3
Marriage is not perfect. Marriage takes patience, listening, acceptance, communication, therapy sometimes and lots of love. It’s hard work. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I love you Joe Port. Thank you for making me a better woman. Happy 1 year anniversary.
xox
Tessa
