I did a Q&A on my Instagram stories a little while ago and one question I got was, “If you had to write down 10 of the biggest lessons you’ve learned what would they be?” I have to be honest, most people ask for everyday kind of things like favorite mascara or favorite shade of lipstick. Which are very practical, useful questions! But this question stood out a little bit and made me think I should dive into detail a little more on the answers. Hence, this post. As I was writing I felt inspired to write 11 lessons I’ve learned…not just 10.
11 Lessons I’ve Learned
- Mindset truly is everything. One thing I’ve always been fascinated by is how the same situation can be dealt with in so many different ways. Say a family of 4 goes through a divorce… the two kids, even having grown up with the same parents, under the same roof, having had the same education, the same nightly meals etc., will respond completely differently to the divorce. No matter what happens to you, your mindset is a powerful factor in the lasting outcome. So always, always choose positivity and trust that you are strong enough to make it through anything because you are.
- Buy the shoes. Just make sure your bills are paid and you’re saving a little.
- Don’t let others’ negative energy affect you. Know that it’s completely okay to separate yourself from people around you that are causing you stress. There are people I’ve had in my life at points where 10 minutes with them would cause the hair on my neck to stand up and I couldn’t shake it for days. Nobody has time for that! Let that shit go. 🙂
- Grieve. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago to bladder cancer. He fought long and hard for 6 years until he no longer could. I was with him the moment he passed and if I close my eyes I can be transported back to that split-second of a moment. The smell of the room, the feeling of his hand in mine…all of it. Truly a moment that will never be lost on me. Sometimes when I feel sad about losing him, I’ll close my eyes and go back to it. Because, that was the last moment I had with him. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. It’s healthy and therapeutic to be emotional about things. I promised myself I would visit his grave every year on the anniversary. Last year I sat and talked to him for an hour and read him the little notes that people left in his visitation book. I’m excited to go back this year and do the same thing.
- Laugh and dance often. As cliche as this may sound, it’s important. Laughter is the best medicine. It lightens your worries, inspires hope and connects you to others. It also helps you release anger and forgive sooner. Dancing does the same thing. So turn on some feel good music and give yourself some free therapy!
- Everything in moderation. Life is all about balance so crash diets will never work. I’ve never really talked about this before but for a very brief period (maybe 4 months in total) after college I had a slight eating disorder. I was still eating but I was eating less than 1,000 calories a day and it was all vegetables and eggs basically. Very unhealthy. My body went into shock mode and I was unable to focus on anything, even a conversation. I’m happy that didn’t last long because I frickin’ love food and love cooking. Now, I’ve learned that eating a well-balanced diet and working out a couple times a week keeps my body happy, healthy, lean and toned. Our bodies aren’t meant to be starved. So eat that piece of cake or cinnamon roll. Life is short.
- Travel. You’ve probably heard people say that traveling opens your eyes. Well, it does. It allows you to experience new cultures, religions and traditions. One of my favorite stories from my travels, is from when I was in Marrakech. We made friends with a spice shop owner named Mus Mus on our first day and he invited us back to his shop on our last night in Marrakech for a homemade meal. Mus Mus spent an entire day making a traditional Moroccan tajine for us. We sat on little stools around the tajine and exchanged cultural stories and laughed about the differences. I was able to experience that because I let my guard down. I didn’t judge Mus Mus for his choice in religion or where he lived. We had mutual respect as human beings and it was lovely. We all took a picture together that night and my friend and I printed it off and gave it to Mus Mus the next morning before we left. Lesson: travel without judgement. Beautiful things happen when you do.
- Life is short, enjoy it. I’ve always been the type of person to try things once. But after losing my dad when he was only 55, it opened my eyes to the real importance of experiences. You literally never know what or when it could happen. Say yes to life! Say yes to experiences (but always use your street smarts.) Go to the concert. Crowd surf. Go skydiving. Eat one too many scoops of ice cream. Just do it. Do what makes you happy as long as it’s not harming you or others.
- Stop comparing. It’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap, especially with social media. But just trust in the universe that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be whether you realize it right now or not. We are all on our own journeys and even if someone you know is succeeding right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t. You will if you set your mind to it and make moves towards your goals.
- Don’t settle. Don’t settle for anything. A job, a partner, friends that treat you poorly or even a pair of shoes that give you blisters every time you wear them. If you settle for any of these things, they will eventually steal your joy. Steal your sparkle. If you feel unhappy with a certain aspect of your life, make a change. Until you change it you won’t be happy. And life is all about being happy.
- No hate, just love. Just like it was important for me to not judge Mus Mus so I was able to experience his culture, it’s just as important here in the good ole USA as well. It’s not a secret that our country is terribly divided right now. If we all just listened to each other a little more, we’d be in much better shape. And as small as it might seem compared to the United States senate, have an actual conversation with your neighbor. I promise you, little conversations can make an impact. Rather than automatically judging an opinion that’s different than yours, try to listen to what they’re saying and try to see why they feel the way they do. It’s okay to have different opinions, that’s what makes the world go round. Just make sure you are spreading love rather than hate.
xx
Tessa
